Friday, July 20, 2012

Jenifer (2005)

Directed by: Dario Argento

Starring: Steven Weber, Carrie Fleming, Brenda James

The Main Review: Jennifer is a 2005 motion picture that was another one of the short films within the Masters of Horror anthology. It's based on a ten-page comic by Bruce Jones and Berni Wrightson. The film follows Detective Frank Spivey after he saves the disfigured Jenifer from almost being decapitated by an ex-lawyer. Despite her unappealing face, he finds himself undeniably attracted to her. He soon learns, though, that she has a strong desire to eat flesh - which doesn't keep him from getting busy with her. And the movie turns into a one big hump-and-eat-people thang.
Oh, yeah. So hot.

So, Frank and his partner, Spacey, are eating Chinese food in a car when Frank notices a woman being dragged along the road by a crazed looking man. Being a noble detective, he follows them and, when the man makes a move to kill the woman, Frank shoots him. He gathers the distressed woman in his arms to see that her face is completely disfigured.

After this whole ordeal, Frank can't seem to get the woman, who he learns is named Jenifer, out of his head. He goes to the mental hospital she's being held at and takes her home with him. His wife is less than pleased and he promises to try and find her another place to stay as soon as possible. Of course, while their out searching for somewhere Jenifer can live, the two of them have car sex.
That night, Jenifer eats their cat. Frank's wife and son have enough sense to leave as soon as possible. Jenifer goes on to eat Frank's next-door-neighbor's daughter, which leads Frank to try and give Jenifer to the circus. A man comes to collect her when Frank's out and, when he comes home, he finds that man, dead, in his refrigerator. Frank takes Jenifer out into the deserted woods to start a new life.

Here's Where It Gets Spoilerific: So, Frank and Jenifer continue to have sex this entire time. Frank gets a job in a grocery store. Jenifer eats Frank's boss's son which makes Frank finally decide that enough is enough.
Frank drags Jenifer through the woods with an ax, intending to kill her. He's spotted by a hunter, who shoots him. Before he dies, Frank whispers "Jenifer..." The hunter gathers her in his arms and, after being startled by her deformed face, she simply strokes his hand in thanks. And, you can watch the movie again to see where that goes.

Scenes To Watch Out For: When Frank has sex with Jenifer, she makes these really demonic, animalistic noises. Wouldn't that tip you off to the fact that you were having sex with, I dunno, some kind of evil monster?

Frank's son sees Jenifer and his initial response (after being horrified by her face) is too leer at her and say "Nice rack." Good job, teenage male. You keep on seeing what's truly important - boobs.

Anything Else: So, what did we learn? Um... How about, when someone eats your cat - no matter how banging hot they are - maybe you should call the cops. Because, it's just gonna escalate from there.

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